LA vs. SD: Am I running again?
I’m still stuck in this debate of living in LA or San Diego. It’s a pretty balanced pros & cons list, but I can’t help feeling directed more towards San Diego. I ask myself if moving back to SD would be me once again running away from my problems in life. Unfortunately I don’t get a clear answer.
Is it so wrong for me to separate myself from my problems when they seem too tough to handle? Is it wrong to want to remove myself from bad relationships, unhealthy friendships, and a spirit-less environment that stirs up selfishness? I don’t see how walking away from what LA has become for me now, is a bad thing. Am I supposed to stay amidst strife and endure it, or attempt to develop a strength to stand against the unhealthiness I’ve surrounded myself in? I know that God is in LA, but I just can’t seem to find Him there.
SD: Re-prioritize Jesus
Ever since I’ve been back in San Diego, I have wanted nothing more than to reconnect with my Spirit, dive back into the Word, become part of a church community again, and re-prioritize my life to be more Christ-like. This is a feeling I have ignored and suppressed in LA for some time. San Diego, ironically, is drawing that side of me back out (versus my life here 4 years ago). I am loving restoring my faith and reconnecting with my spirituality. I find it interesting, however, that I am experiencing such hardships AGAIN in my life. Go figure when I try to stabilize my life and put God first again, I am met by resistance, abandonment, and struggles. I lost my job, I am stuck in a lease for a house far away from where I spend my time, I am broke, I have little support for my work with Occupy, and to top it all off: my friendships are dropping like flies. The amount of friendships I have lost in the past 4 months is overwhelming and I can’t help but feel abandoned once again (why is this a vicious cycle for my life?) I want to be positive and excited about what God has in store for me next, but it is so discouraging that I may be (or already AM) walking this part of my journey alone.
Occupy LA: Eviction
Tonight at midnight marked the eviction of Occupy LA. I am devastated that I cannot be there with all my fellow occupiers. I have been watching it through the live streamvideos online, getting phone calls from friends onsite, and getting picture text messages of what’s going on. Tonight is crucial for the movement because LA has been on the forefront of nonviolently protesting. All eyes are on us and how we will handle this eviction. However we choose to react to LAPD will be copied throughout the other occupy sites. The Ohm circle/human chain has wrapped around City Hall and is keeping a sense of peace and solidarity amongst everyone. The LAPD Chief announced at 1:45am that the eviction will take place eventually, but will NOT occur tonight. Right now their priority is to keep people on the sidewalks and out of the streets. Both Occupy LA & LAPD want to keep this protest nonviolent, so LAPD has agreed not to arrest anyone if they remain in the park until 7 am when the lawyers can discuss further action. All of this hard work is coming to a climax. I HATE that I am not there to stand with them!